second thoughts
I was married for 28 years; well the first four years was
marriage, the last 24 was hell. Anyway the last 10 years
were extremely hard on me; when we did have sex it felt like
I was raping her, she DID give herself freely to me; she
just laid there never starting things always I had to
initiate things first. Now when I’m with a women and I feel
like things may go farther, I stop myself in fear of that
feeling; now when I’m with a women and she makes the first
move, then I pull out all the stops, and give her every drop
of bottled of passion that I have. I know this isn’t normal.
Please don’t say that I should have looked outside the
marriage for sex; unlike her I held true to the marriage
vows except once and that’s a different story. Please don’t
tell me that I have a lot of deep rooted problems and that I
should seek professional help; therapy cost money; don’t say
that there are programs that can help. I feel that I can
conquer this problem on my own, with the help of friends. I
know we have never met, but yes I feel like you are a
friend. Any thoughts that I haven’t mentioned?
